What comes first; Money or Family?
It appears that what I have been saying for years is true, most high earning men are missing out on family life; the problem being is that they are nearly all too scared to do anything about it.
A study at the University of Leicester has shown that most high earning men would be willing to take a pay cut if it meant they could spend more time with their family or just enjoying life by taking up a personal hobby or sport. I would add to this that if these people do spend a bit more time with family they will be more relaxed, less likely to fall ill or have a heart attack and would generally be more productive and possibly even innovative due to a reduced level of stress.
I do believe that many people, mostly men as despite equality laws men still tend to be the main earner, put in all the extra hours and work harder (but not necessarily more productive) because they feel they need to in order to climb the corporate ladder. Couple this with a fear of losing their job or missing out on promotion and extra money.
The number of people I know who are stuck in this self-perpetuating cycle of feeling guilty at not spending time with the family so they buy them expensive gifts/toys that creates a need to earn more money to buy an even more expensive gift/toy next time round; when I am certain most partners/kids would be happier if they spent a little more time playing with them and being thoroughly stupid.
I wonder how many times these high earners have managed to attend their kids school plays or open evenings, how many times they have taken their kids round the local park and played ball with them or taken them swimming without their spouse.
The trouble is we have become a very monetary society and it appears that care is now measured by material goods, the latest I-Phone, Xbox, TV or other electronic gadget.
I hear people commenting on their “family holiday” and it appears a “family holiday” now is one where family fly out and stay at the same resort but then the kids are sent off to different activities all day leaving the wife in the free spa while the husband sits by the pool and catches up on work related business; all because he thinks he is indispensible. The only time they spend together is possibly evening meal times or bed times.
A very small number of high earners will be able to reach a point where they can spend less time working and more time doing what they like, Richard Branson comes to mind, but they are very far and few between and normally own the company. For most you are just another cog in the machine that will get replaced when you wear out or are superseded by a more efficient cog (maybe a cheaper version made in the Far East).
No matter the lure of money and status we must all take time out to be with those that really matter and that includes spending some time doing what you want to do thus allowing the brain to recharge.
It is very difficult in today’s world to do this, as any sign of weakness or inefficiency and your head could be the next to roll; leaving you with a large mortgage, school fees and family with very expensive tastes. It seems that corporate life sucks the very life out of us and replaces it with greed for ever more material things; where a balance between the two would be better.
The higher up the ladder you climb and the more you earn the more likely you are to have people out to depose you; those above see you as threat to themselves and want to keep you down or out, and those below you want your job and are willing to get it any way they can. Or so you think; so you work harder put in more hours, leading to you being less productive and inefficient until finally something snaps. As for the company, they replace you and carry on as if nothing happened and you are forgotten within a couple of days.
Most high earners have subordinates or assistants working for them, if so, use them. Become a real manager and delegate the work, let others take the responsibility and release some of the pressure on yourself. If you show trust in your staff they will respect you more and work with you rather than against you.
If you are asked to give an estimate for a project to be finished always overestimate the time required; you will look good for finishing early and you have allowed yourself time in case there is a problem.
Ensure you do not stay late at work every day, make it a rule that you will go home early one day a week and spend time with the family or going to play golf (socially not business). When you go on holiday leave all electronic devices switched off or better yet at home, trust your staff to continue the business.
By relaxing a little you will be able to clear your mind and look at work with a fresh mind, helping you to see the big picture and be more relaxed.
The old adage “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” is very true; it’s just a pity that corporate life seems to think different and just wants to drive people on harder every day while enticing them with more money. Carrots and donkeys come to mind.
